Will Cody Parkey Go Down As The Biggest Scapegoat In Sports History?
DOINK DOINK BITCHES! Bless you, Cody “Bum” Parkey! What a bum, amiright?!?! Props to him for admitting he’s a bum, but still, that bum should retire to Bumsville cause his bum leg will never kick again in the NFL after shanking that final kick like a B-U-M! Wait…the football was tipped at the line of scrimmage which complete changed the trajectory of the kick?
Hmmm. Maybe the world is being just a tad tough on a kicker and his entire existence. I mean, Cody Parkey did score 9 of Chicago’s 15 points and his potential game winner was deflected. Wait, he had to be apart of that all-time Bear defense that let up a game winning TD drive which included a 4th and 5 to seal the contest? Or at the very least he took Khalil Mack completely out of the game? No? Oh. Ok…then Cody Parkey DEFINITELY was responsible for Mitch Trubisky leading the offense, who was playing the most beat up secondary in the league, to only one touchdown all game, right? Oh, wow. Sure, Parkey wasn’t automatic all season. In fact, it’s arguably more impressive to hit the uprights as much as he did all year than actually knock the FG’s through the goalposts. But I’m not too sure he deserves to hear that the Illinois State Police are telling Parkey that he’s on his own:
Poor, poor Cody Parkey. The man broke the rookie single season scoring record while SHATTERING the Eagles single season points mark not too long ago. He was only productive, but revered in Philly after saving the special teams from Sir Noodles of the Legs, Alex Henery. Sadly, Parkey shredded his groin and couldn’t quite recover with the team. He left for a stint in Cleveland followed up by a very productive year in Miami, which led to a nice little payday in Chicago. Can he recover from this? It’s hard to say. Regardless, he’ll have a fair shot. Chicago sports fans, of all people, are smart and will understand that destiny shouldn’t fall on one soul’s shoulders. Take Steve Bartman for example. He cost the Cubs a championship, too. I mean, the Cubs definitely weren’t up 3-0 and were 5 outs away from completely controlling their own destiny to advance to the World Series. Definitely 100% Steve Bartman’s fault for blowing that lead.
PS – OUCH.