The Hard Factor Hard Body Competition One Month Update
It is officially one month into the greatest weight loss competition of all time. Four weeks are in the books in Hard Factor’s 16 week long weight loss competition #HardFactorHardBody. For those of you that pretend to still not know, Hard Factor is the daily news podcast that is launched at before you wake up daily, Monday through Thursday and has eclipsed 100 episodes already. The only thing the hosts of Hard Factor do better than work two full time jobs, is gain and retain weight. So since we didn’t want to have our loved ones pull out their backs trying to lift our enormous caskets, we decided to get healthy and compete doing so.
Let’s give a quick recap. Below is an image of us before the competition started. Take a good look at those heights and weights. Yes a few of us were knocking on death’s door. Yes we were and are very fat, thank you for pointing that out. No we could not see our dicks when looking straight down, well at least some of us couldn’t.
Now here is an image of with our results one month into the weight loss competition. Please note we have lost a combined 90 pounds in a month. That’s the weight of an average 12 year old. That’s nearly triple digits. That’s going to be impossible to keep up.
In case you were wondering, the answer is of course we have been taking weekly shirtless pictures and will be doing a disgusting time-lapse video at the end of this competition. Also shortly after the competition ends in spring 2019, we will have an incredible video of the loser having a really bad day because he will be doing exactly what the winner wants him to do all day whether it’s get an awful tattoo, bathe a homeless person, wear a pussy hat to a MAGA rally or take a standardized test to show how dumb we are and it will all be on camera.
Some of you might be wondering how we lost so much weight in December with Christmas potlucks and dinners and happy hours, not to mention a Hard Factor power hour where three of the four members drank beer every minute like you are supposed to (Hard Factor Will more like Hard Liquor Will). Well you will have to tune into the Hard Factor podcast where on the Thursday episodes each of us will be giving their individual weight loss details and strategy, but spoiler alert, it has to do with working out, eating healthy and overall not being a lazy piece of shit like we were for years straight, prior to the competition.
Wish us luck or don’t, but follow along because this is going to be special. If you yourself want to lose weight, please join along with us. You can send us your progress on Twitter @hardfactornews and we will shout you out on the pod, or send you a prize if you can keep up with or beat all of us. Just don’t die. Next blog update will be a month from now and will be the halfway point of the competition at which surely most of us will have a fantastic downward view of our dicks.
Follow us: @hardfactornews, @hardfactorwill, @hardfactorwes, @hardfactorpat, @hardfactormark