Oops. Chicago Mayoral Candidate Uses The New York Skyline For Campaign Ad

Carl 12/20/2018 4:32 PM

Enhance.

Jimminy fucking Christmas Willie you can’t honestly want a shot at the title with this kind of advertising. New York is a cesspool of debauchery and trash and assholes. In no way shape or form can it be confused with Chicago. Which brings me to my next question. Who the FUCK is getting paid to put these ads together? I got a couple buddies Tony Wasinksi and Frankie Burgasetti that would light his campaign on goddamn fire for a fraction of the cost without the glaring fuck ups. Hey how ya doin let’s make a deal.

In all seriousness – Willie Wilson is an OG Chicago legend. He went from being the janitor at a South Side McD’s in the 70’s to winning almost 11% of the vote in the 2015 Chicago Mayoral Election. He’s an Emmy-award winning self-made millionaire. A community leader, published author and celebrated philanthropist. And yet he STILL couldn’t get the Chicago skyline right. For that and that alone, I’m officially declaring Willie Wilson the 2019 Common Man Candidate. I can get behind a mistake this dumb. This is my kind of mistake.

And for what it’s worth, the Chicago political scene is such a disaster that this could ultimately be an advantage. Like yeah maybe he fucked up the skyline in some shitty 30 second ad spot on the Wednesday evening local news, but at least he’s not under criminal criminal investigation (to my knowledge). So in context of the bigger picture, we could be talking about Willie for much worse reasons.

Instead, I would like to now draw your attention to the fact that Willie Wilson has committed to opening a “Citizen Owned Casino” in Chicago within his first term. I have no clue what the Citizen-Owned thing means but if it’s anything like how Green Bay owns the Packers then I’m all in and the rest of you guys are coming with me. I’ve always wanted to own a casino ever since I was a little boy and it seems like Willie wants to make my dream come true. Just fix the fucking skyline.