The American Stock Market Has Hit An All-Time Low: Rock Bottom

What an absolute disgrace. A new low for the stock market and the people who cover it. When I first saw the picture that Market Watch used, I thought, “is that an ass?” Turns out, it was a rock that looks like some cheeks. It’s time that the stock market cleans up their gutter minds and get back to putting their nose to the grindstone which happens to be the title of one of Tyler Childers’ best songs.

“A liquor cabinet music selection in a stock market blog? My god. Chaps makes me horny as fuck and keeps me on my toes. In the ballet world, his blogs would be known as on pointe.”

Beautiful. Goddamnit, I love art.