Imagine Doing Sex 9 Times In Your Life!
Holy moly, can you imagine? Philip Rivers has had sex 9 times in his life. That’s nuts. That’s so many times having sex my head is spinning.
Congrats to Philip Rivers though. Takes a real man’s man to have 9 kids. You would think at 6 he’d be thinking about slowing down, 7 he’d consider it, 8 he’d be like “alright, 8 kids is a bit many”, but no no no, not PRivz (do people call him that? They do now.) 9 little shitheads running amok around his house. Imagine going over there for Thanksgiving and their just stickiness everywhere. Just snot and germs hanging from the chandeliers. You have to wear work boots in that house because there’s probably mine fields of Legos everywhere you go.
But hey, if that’s what the man likes, more power to him. The miracle of life and what have you. But maybe try pulling out? Rumor has it that can be fun too.
Your move, Antonio Cromartie.