Should The Marine Corps Send Recruiters To Enlist Members Of The Caravan?

Look, I know a lot of people aren’t gonna like this but it’s a recruiters’ wet dream. You know that most of these people are in shape. They’ve walked a long distance carrying stuff which is like 60 percent of being a Marine. The other 40 percent is just getting weekly haircuts. They could use a couple of corrections on cover and alignment while walking in squads or column but marching in formation is difficult at first. They’ll get it. I have no doubt.

Now, I know what the rest of you who served are thinking, “Chaps. Can they swim? The Marine Corps is amphibious by nature. If you don’t know what amphibious means, it means that they can live on land or in the sea.”

Dude. I know what the fuck amphibious means. I’m a Marine too.

“Oh yeah? Then what does it mean?”

It means that you can live on land or in the sea. Why are you being a dick?

“It’s cool. Just checking.”

Anyway, I think recruiters would love the chance to recruit the caravan. Meeting those quotas can be tough as shit and lead to long nights especially in modern America where most people are fat as hell. Not meant to fat shame but the requirements are tough. These people look in shape and that’s a big jump on your average person from Mississippi or in my case Jacksonville, Florida.

When I was in boot camp, people from other countries were there too. Lots of people earned citizenship that way. It’s a great job and it provides a service. Win. Win. Win.

Plus, can you imagine the political volleyball people would have to play if we recruited the caravan? People would be like “immigrants !but… troops! guns! butttt troops! AHHHHHHHHHHHH” It would make people’s heads fly off because they can only think with one part of their brain.

Anyway, let’s put it to a vote: the Caravan should be able to join the Marine Corps

Click YES or NO

And before you get all mad, just asking the questions, folks. Bloggers dont make policy. (Steve Bannon not included)

We’ll talk about this more on Zero Blog Thirty this week. I have some ideas.