At Least We Still Have Gritty Destroying Souls Inside Bubble Balls On The Ice

The Eagles season is in jeopardy. The Sixers, while solid and entertaining, have admitted the Celtics are their daddy. The Flyers are charmingly mediocre. But, hey, at least we still got Gritty! Not only that, he’s murdering innocent souls for some reason playing bubble ball the ice! Love the convenient distraction. Now all we need is for Cam Newton to man up and face our orange beast. After the Panthers QB’s last effort on the pitch where he straight up ended a woman, he needs to get his:

I guess that’s what happens when you’re an average gal who takes the field with a professional athlete that’s a genetic Thoroughbred. That celebration was a tad excessive for a man worth over $100 million who just committed manslaughter in a rec game. Gritty would eat him alive. Literally. He’s already consumed Zah, and he must be fed again.