Bradley Cooper Is Such A Damn Asshole

I went to see A Star Is Born last night and it was amazing. I cried three times. Bradley Cooper, Gaga, and Charlie (Bradley Cooper’s actual dog who’s also a star) all deserve Oscar nominations for it. I can’t say enough good things about the movie, it was my favorite kind of movie: sad and awesome. I might go skip watching the Red Sox tonight just so I can go see it again tonight.

But I’m sorry, I have to say this: fuck Bradley Cooper. I say that with all the love and admiration in the world, but fuck him right in his pretty face. Why is it fuck Bradley Cooper? Did he do something horrible like come out as a Holocaust denier or steal jewelry from his grandmother to sell for drugs? No, nothing like that, he’s just too talented.

Bradley Cooper was alright one of the most desired guys on the planet. He was the true embodiment of “women want him, men want to be him” and you know what he decided to do? Decided to fucking learn how to play the guitar and sing at a rock star level! What the FUCK is that all about? Who just does that? Yeah, he’s actually singing and actually playing the guitar in this smash hit movie. He’s up there sharing the stage and mic with one of the biggest pop stars on the planet and it doesn’t look out of place at all.

Actors do wild shit for roles all the time, they’ll put on 50 pounds or get a six pack or rip an accent, that shit is commonplace, but becoming a rock star isn’t fair. Bradley Cooper had it all, he was good looking, funny, cool, etc. but now he added musician to his arsenal just because he was bored? People train their whole life to become musicians and Cooper was just like “Yeah, I guess I’ll direct my first movie and also star in it and yeah might as well learn to play the guitar and sing too.” Fuckkkkkk that. I’ve got no talent because Cooper stole it all from the rest of the world.

Oh yeah and he walks this adorable fella around, in case everything else about him didn’t get the attention of the ladies.