Sorry Dave, But(t) I Need To Get Political Here For A Second

I know we’re not a political site butt sometimes you have to break the rules. I’m here to talk about MC Bandida & how she deserves to win a spot in Brazil’s government (so long as Barstool is willing to keep me on the payroll if I work at home from Brazil as I recover from free plastic surgery if that happens).

The Wilson of her music scene, Valeria Santana AKA MC Bandida, always keeps her face covered. Hopefully this isn’t a problem as she runs for the very public role of District Deputy in Brasília, the country’s capitol.

Her platform? Free breast implants & butt jobs for women. Via The Sun:

She claims it will help boost the low self-esteem of scores of female voters who “deserve to feel empowered with better bodies”.

She said: “My plan is to invest public money into improving the state of mind and wellbeing of low-income women in Brasilia who believe they need this aesthetic boost to help them feel good about themselves.”

The 32-year-old blonde rap artist stands in the October 7 elections as a district deputy, the equivalent to a county councillor, with the social democratic and centrist party Avante.

Formerly the Labor Party of Brazil, Santana’s party has rebranded itself in a rejection of party politics & is now Avante which basically means “onward/forward” or “let’s go!” #LFG. Sure, it’s a very small, populist-centrist Brazilian faction with less than 1% of the vote, but it’s got a huge heart (ass) and as someone with room to spare in these Hanes, she’s got my vote.