Holy Shit The New Whalers Jersey Is The Sexiest Thing In The Whole Wide World

Oh my god. I need a Gatorade and a cigarette. I am FLUSTERED right now.

I said earlier today when we first got word that a new Whalers jersey was coming out that this was going to be a cash grab marketing strategy by the Hurricanes. It makes sense considering the team has been trash for a while and they’ve struggled to get people out to games. But as far as cash grabs go, this jersey deserves every single dollar that they bring in because they are breathtaking.

The color is perfect. The design is perfect. Obviously the logo has always been perfect. I said the only way that the Hurricanes could possibly fuck this up is if they tried to just take the Whalers logo and put it on a jersey with their red and black colorway. The hockey world could have suffered a significant blow today if that were the case. But fortunately the Carolina Hurricanes know what will put asses in the seats and dollars in their pockets. Green sweater with a nice, crisp white logo. This is a jersey you wear to the game. This is a jersey you wear to the bar. This is a jersey you wear to sleep. You wear this to a wedding. You wear this to a first date. You wear this jersey to your funeral. You put this jersey on and it never leaves your body.

It sucks they’ll only be wearing these jerseys twice this year because if you wear this 82 games a year, you’re guaranteed 82-0. Just something for management to think about.

HIT THE MUSIC

@BarstoolJordie

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