Nobody Arrives At Tournaments Like Tiger Woods Arrives At Tournaments

Tiger’s fed up with people saying he doesn’t intimidate anymore. He’s had enough. Of course the giant-dicked alpha golf robot intimidates. Guy built a billion dollar empire on scaring the shit out of soft ass country club dweebs at golf’s highest level. I watched the 2002 Masters final round last night (obviously) — every person from Ernie Els to Vijay Singh to Phil Mickelson weltered in the shadow of Tiger Savage Woods.

That was a long time ago of course. Many things have happened. Just this week, he was let off probation early (great work). But he hasn’t won a major in over 10 years. He hasn’t won a golf tournament in over 5 years.

But he’s so clearly back and he’s sick and tired of these fucks saying he doesn’t have it anymore. Sick and tired of hearing he doesn’t intimidate players, so he’s doing over-the-top shit to get that edge back. He’s arriving at golf tournaments like he just finished beating up Ian Poulter at the local gym.

Like he just wrapped up banging 14 chicks on his mega-yacht.

He’s giving clinics on intimidating people.

Tiger Woods, ladies and gentlemen. Has arrived.