Why is Stormy Daniels's Lawyer Issuing a 'No Comment' About Ben Roethlisberger?

If you’re the Pittsburgh Steelers, is there anything less you need right now than Stormy Daniels’s lawyer promoting their book with weirdly cryptic Tweets about her and Ben Roethlisberger?

To recap, for those of us who’ve had our minds occupied with way too many new beer launches, It’s Always Sunny quotes and Fantasy football roster moves to remember last January, an old interview resurfaced about the time Stormy (allegedly) did The Beast with Two Backs the future Commander in Chief that mentioned Roethlisberger’s world class wingmanning:

Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, told the tabloid that the night after she hooked up with Trump at a Lake Tahoe celebrity golf tournament, she caught the Manhattan billionaire at a party with the young Steelers quarterback, who had won his first Super Bowl earlier that year.

“When I got there, he was already with him,” Daniels said. “He had Keith, his bodyguard, call me and ask me if I was coming. When I got there, I called Keith and he told me where he was sitting and he brought me over. And he was hanging out with Ben for a long time. A couple other people around, nobody famous. Mostly people trying to hang on to them.”

She said Trump “excused himself” from the table and made Roethlisberger “promise to take care of me.”

“I stayed another 15-20 minutes, and Ben Roethlisberger actually walked me up to my room that night because Donald told him to,” she continued. “Yeah, he walked me all the way to my hotel room.”

Which is pretty tame stuff. Tame enough that I don’t even remember considering it blog worthy. And back in the day I wrote enough “Ben Rapelisberger”-themed blogs back in the day to fill a library. But a story of an A-list celebrity quarterback getting an N-list porn actress out of the hair of his A-list real estate mogul/reality show host buddy five years before he was married hardly moved the needle for me.

Until now. Until the porn lawyer’s Tweet. Now I’m all in. Because this begs the very question Michael Avenatti wants it to beg: What went on between Stormy and Ben? If they just banged, that’s hardly going to make books fly off shelves. If he had sloppy seconds of the future Leader of the Free World, maybe. But then, half the pro athletes in America could probably have said the same thing in the JFK and Clinton administrations.

So what is it? What could be so salacious that it would worth “no comment”ing about before anyone has even seen the book? Was there a 3-way? Did the two guys talk shit about each other?  In his pillow talk did Ben admit he was the worst Super Bowl winning QB of all time and it’s only because his defense, running game carried him like a corpse and thanks to a TD from Antwaan Randle El to Hines Ward that he won a ring at all? That would be newsworthy to you and me, but probably not something Stormy Daniels would commit to memory like her lines in Sex Door Neighbors or Lust on the Prairie.

But like I started to say before I got distracted by myself, bombshell news from America’s most famous adult film actress about their quarterback is the last thing the Steelers need right now. Having your franchise running back hold out and your franchise receiver demanding a trade and then going AWOL is enough for any franchise, thankyouverymuch. And if this turns out to be nothing regarding Roethlisberger, I’ll apologize. I’ll be very disappointed, but I’ll apologize.