"Vagina" Is OUT! "Front Hole" Is IN!
Oh hell yes! I’m all in on this. Vagina is so 2000 and late. Nobody wants to use that word. There’s a reason when you were called on in health class in 3rd grade you got all shy and didn’t want to say it. Well, 3rd grade you is in luck, because as it turns out, vaginers aren’t gender inclusive. “But Nate, why would a body part that only one gender has have to be inclusive to people who don’t have one?” Great question, young squire. Because we have to appease people who “don’t identify with the labels the medical community attaches to their genitals”. Duh.
This helps men so much. We have no idea what’s going on down there. It’s like Pan’s Labyrinth. You could hand me a map of it and I wouldn’t know which way to hold it. North is which way? It goes where? There’s ANOTHER hole somewhere in that mess? Oh come on! But now we can just say “front hole” and cover all bases. Could be talking about my front hole, your front hole, this smokeshow’s front hole, and all is taken care of.
And finally, if I dare hear a porn star use the word “pussy” ever again I will report them to every activist group I can find. Probably just PETA because that’s the only one I can think of off the top of my head. So that’s what I’ll do tonight. I’m going to watch porn and report every film that doesn’t use the gender-inclusive term “front hole” to PETA. Thank me for my service.