Barstool Idol Tuesday Recap- Hot Dogs, T-Shirts, and Tears
Two days of Barstool Idol is in the books. We’re down to 8 people.
After a day of feeling each other out and pretending to like one another, it was clear from the start that today would be way more tense. It started last night when contestants began to narc on each other and let the world know who went home.
I don’t hate the move by Ohio and Mush here. Dave has made it clear he likes when people throw each other under the bus in this competition so they’re just doing what they gotta do. That being said, if you’re going to rat people out for leaving the house, you better make sure you show up on time the next day.
The field was narrowed down from 11 to 10 in the morning because someone dropped out for what seemed like personal issues. T’s and P’s.
Dave met the remaining 10 contestants in the conference room and laid out the challenges for the day.
First up was creating t-shirts to be sold in the Barstool store. Everyone knows Barstool isn’t what it is today without the t-shirt business.
“Cheap fabric, and dim lighting. That’s how you move merchandise
-Morty Seinfeld”
-Dave Portnoy
You can check out the entire collection through this link, but here were the highlights…
Ohio guy started off hot with a pretty fire Baker Mayfield shirt.
He also gets massive bonus points for this creative credit card photoshop
The sheer cockiness of him has been a pleasure to watch all week. He started off Monday saying “We’ll call our team the Friday crew. We’ll be here on Friday.” He then dominated everyone in the house by blogging late Monday night. He’s been very clear that he will win this competition. Today he asked me where he could find a chess board. I asked “Why? Because you’re playing chess and everyone else is playing checkers.” He just smirked and said, “Something like that.”
Tommy (not me) made a couple cool shirts for the LimeWire and Juul crowds.
The girl made a shirt about rosé. We all know how much Dave loves rosé. It’s his favorite alcoholic drink. Some of his favorite companies are rosé companies. Right? RIGHT?!?
That is not right, but in fact, wrong.
Luckily, she rebounded nicely by the quickest way to Dave’s heart outside of sitting next to him and winning bets — hating LeBron.
One team decided to make a shirt of PFT and for some reason, a Mexican-looking Big Cat.
Other shirts included #GoPresGo pandering (I bought 300), hot Patriots, and a mustached Andrew Luck.
Before we get into the next challenge of the day, I have to acknowledge the meltdown we had today. Michigan Man Dave Sulfaro apparently had a near breakdown early in the afternoon. Dave was the Michigan viceroy and has been grinding hard to get here, making tons of videos racing everyone from Adam Schefter to the Double Vodka Don.
(Credit to me for taking the time to do that video)
Well, dashes aside, Dave Sulfaro was none too pleased with his performance so far this week. He separately took both Erika and Frankie outside (after making sure they weren’t wired) and poured his heart on. Said he’s afraid he’s blowing his big chance. Hated his performance yesterday, hated his performance today. However, he seemed ready to rebound.
“You have to fall before you learn to walk” or something like that is a saying that maybe seems applicable here.
Next up after the t-shirts was the 9-9-9 Challenge. For the uninformed, White Sox Dave completed the challenge at a White Sox game last week. One beer and one hot dog each inning for nine innings and we had a live stream.
I will be honest, it was not the most electric we have ever produced.
There was no immunity up for grabs so there was really no incentive to do it. The idea was that they could partake and show they can be an on-camera presence, but they could dip out whenever they want and do something better.
Personally, I would’ve stayed there for like an inning, cracked a few jokes, and then went and tried to do something else. But I am a strategic mastermind who will win Survivor one day, and most of these people are not. With the exception of Condition Kid who went to do Gametime, everyone else stayed there for awhile.
We finally found something that Ohio’s Tate couldn’t win
Marty Mush only had one thing on his mind
The Mush hit right away.
Then he puked.
The stream otherwise proceeded to be painfully boring. The beer was warm. The hot dogs were cold. So KFC went out there to rile up the troops and told them to basically just do something. It worked a little. Ultimately, Dylan and Tommy were the two champions.
While this was all happening, we had a couple of breathtaking segments on Barstool Radio. I mean just absolutely breathtaking radio. First up was Michigan Man Dave.
It was incredible radio. Outstanding. He kept talking about how happy he was to be here but was afraid he was blowing his shot. He said he wanted the job so bad and that it’s “fate” for him to be here. Here are some of his memorable quotes I remember.
Michigan Man: “I think I’m cracking myself. I’m in my own head. And my mom knows that.”
KFC: “Why did you just bring up my mom?”
Michigan Man: “Because she’s the best of all time.”
KFC: “But wait I was asking about idol week.”
Michigan Man: “Look… I get emotional.”
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Michigan Man: “This is fate. I feel so welcome here. This is where I HAVE to be. I’m about to cry over it.”
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*song plays out of the break*
Michigan Man: “Oh My God. his is my mom’s favorite song.”
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KFC, Feits, and Liz then repeatedly asked him what he would do at Barstool if he was actually hired. He just couldn’t muster up an answer. Kept talking about how bad he wanted the job and how it was fate for him to get it. It was amazing radio.
Next up was comedian Brandt Tobler.
Guy just straight up told a story about how he tried to kill dad. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Everyone else was being very casual as a man laid out a very clear pre-meditated murder plan. It was bizarre. It was an interesting story, but again, it was a clear plan to murder his father. So something to keep in mind for sure.
After radio, it was decision time. Michigan Man immediately started crying.
He said, “They are tears of joy to say the least. It’s just incredible to be here.”
He cried again about five minutes later and said, “It’s just fate.”
He is a unique cat, but every time my eyes are on him, he takes my breath away. Dave was also intrigued, but wanted to be sure he could handle the abuse. “If I hire you, I want to make sure you can take it. I’m going to wake up every morning and be like ‘How many times can I make this kid cry today?”
Between all of Michigan Man’s crying, we were able to watch the three groups of Rundowns and the ten individual rants.
The 5 on the hot seat were Brandt the murderer, Ali the girl, Dylan (ukulele guy), Rocky (easel guy), and Francis’ friend Tommy.
Ultimately, Ali and Tommy were the two sent home tonight. You can watch the full eliminate show here for the full rants and rundowns
And just as I’m wrapping this blog up, Michigan Man storms into Dave’s office to say he’s upset Ali got fired. The kid is amazing. Amazing.
Back on it tomorrow.
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