Happy Amazon Prime Day - The Day Poor People Like Me Pretend They're Rich and Can Afford To Buy Things!

It’s Amazon Prime Day mothaafuckaasss. I, like you, am poor. I live paycheck to paycheck at the moment as I continue to spend money I don’t have on just about anything. Saving? What’s that? 401k? No shot. Spend now, worry about the future when we get there. Amazon Prime Day is probably the only day of the year I do any type of online shopping though. Everything is like 75% off and it gives me a chance to pretend I’m rich and buy a ton of stuff cheap. The best part of this year’s Amazon Prime Day is we’ve somehow teamed up with Amazon and they’re giving us a cut of every product purchased through our site.

So what I noticed last night was that the house is running low on toilet paper. I don’t feel like going to the store so I’m capitalizing on today’s big sale with some Red Sox Toilet Paper.

For everyone not as psychotic as me, I’m also buying an Alexa because every single person I know has one and they are dope. $29.99? That’s basically free.

Let’s go buy Deadspin next.