Who In The Fricken Heck Would Want To Buy The Ottawa Senators Right Now?

Fourth Period – Speaking on the basis on anonymity, a well-placed source with direct knowledge of the situation has confirmed to TFP that Senators owner Eugene Melnyk has engaged in negotiations to sell the franchise.

According to the league-source, Melnyk has received one offer for the organization and that “offer had been considered.”

During last week’s Board of Governors meeting in Las Vegas, while not officially on the agenda, league owners discussed the $135 million refinancing loan the Senators announced they finalized on Wednesday and also discussed the offer pitched for the club. The offer is believed to have been rejected, but word is negotiations are ongoing and Melynk is exploring options.

Purchasing the Ottawa Senators right now would be the ultimate fixer upper. Which reminds me. Joanna Gaines is so fucking hot. Just a ridiculously, incredibly good looking human being.

I’m of the belief that Fixer Upper is the best show on television for anybody in a relationship. You could watch that shit for 24 hours straight. Your girl gets to think she’s in control of the TV and watch a home improvement show, meanwhile you get to just sit back and watch Joanna Gaines go to work. Everybody is happy. But I guess this is all besides the point right now.

The real story here is that there has been an offer made to purchase the Ottawa Senators which is… well… absurd right now given the circumstances. The past 365ish days for the Ottawa Senators have been nothing but the organization sinking lower and lower. It starts with losing game 7 of the Eastern Conference Finals against the Penguins in 2017. Then you get to the Matt Duchene trade. Now at first, that looked like a great move to bring in 30-goal scorer to a roster that was 1 win away from the Stanley Cup Final. But as we all know, that shit didn’t work out. Instead of finishing 1 win away from the Cup this year, they finished 1 place away from dead last in the NHL. Not great! And in the process, the Senators will now give Colorado their 2019 1st round pick which could very easily be a top 3 pick completely unprotected. In the middle of the season, Senators owner Eugene Melnyk was making some veiled threats that he would relocate the team if fans didn’t start showing up for games. Pretty tough way to endear the franchise to the fans but what would I know? You also now have the assistant GM Randy Lee facing multiple harassment charges after being a pervert to a Buffalo hotel employee around the time of the draft combine. You had the whole Mike Hoffman/Erik Karlsson situation which then ended up with the Senators trading Hoffman to San Jose only for him to end up back in the Atlantic Division with the Sharks flipping Hoffman to Florida. And now there is still a pretty decent chance that Erik Karlsson gets traded at some point this summer. Oh, and to top it all off, the power went out at development camp this morning.

Their pets’ heads are falling off!!!

Now again, the Senators are a Fixer Upper. It’s not like people haven’t bought shitty houses before. There’s a chance that someone is just looking to buy extremely low right now because this is a dilapidated franchise. The doors are falling off, the floors are coming up, there are holes in the wall in the backyard looks like shit. And you never know. The entire roof could collapse in if the Senators do end up trading Karlsson this offseason. Now if they do end up trading Karlsson, chances are that Bobby Ryan would be packaged into that deal as well. And getting Bobby Ryan’s contract off the books would mean that the plumbing doesn’t really need a ton of work anymore. And Brady Tkachuk could end up being that really nice original hardwood flooring they find once they rip up the disgusting linoleum floor. But make no mistake about it, y’all better have a pretty high all-in budget to fix this shit storm.

And don’t get me wrong. I think a new owner would be great for the Senators and their fans. It would be the best possible news they could receive. It’s just baffling to me that somebody would actually see this team right now and think to to spend actual money on them instead of doing almost anything else with that money instead. Especially because I could 100% see Eugene Melnyk trading Erik Karlsson right before selling the team out of pure spite. Always root for chaos.

@BarstoolJordie

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