The Reason Why Texas Doesn't Allow Last Meals For People On Death Row
The huge meal that white supremacist Lawrence Russell Brewer ordered and then left untouched before his execution Wednesday has convinced Texas officials to end the state’s traditional practice of giving death row inmates a “last meal” of their choice.
As the Houston Chronicle writes:
“Maybe it was the big bowl of fried okra with ketchup. Then again, it could have been the two chicken fried steaks smothered in gravy and onions or the cheese omelet with ground beef, tomatoes, onions, and bell and jalapeno peppers.”
Or maybe it was because Brewer also asked for “a triple-meat bacon cheeseburger, three fajitas, one pound of barbecue and a half loaf of white bread, pizza meat lover’s special, one pint of ‘homemade vanilla’ Blue Bell ice cream, one slab of peanut butter fudge with crushed peanuts and three root beers.”
I know this story is old, but I had never heard about it until this morning. Now that that’s out of the way, I LOVE this move by Lawrence Russell Brewer. Ordering that much food and then just being like, “No, I’m not hungry anymore,” is one of the funniest things to ever happen. But it’s not just that he ordered loads of food, it’s the precision that he did it with that makes this story such a masterpiece. If he ordered fifty pizzas, this is almost a non-story. Ordering in the manner that Brewer did firmly cements his place in the comedic history books. He realized that this order could become his lasting legacy (besides brutally murdering someone in 1998), and he was ready to seize the opportunity.
It’s safe to assume that he was thinking about this order for weeks while he was rotting away in his cell. Every night, he would light a small wax candle and take out the small stick of graphite that he found in the library. Then he’d pull from his pocket a shriveled, minute piece of parchment and scribble down one more addition to the most glorious meal he could think of. One night it would be two chicken fried steaks smothered in gravy and onions, and the next it would be a half loaf of white bread.
Can you imagine being such a troll that you changed the way PRISONS are run? You thought that the Texas prison system had everything down to pretty much an exact science? Think again! Lawrence Russell Brewer flipped the entire “last meal” system on its head just to stick it to the man one last time before it was night night forever. Also, the next guy that was going to be put to death must have been furious. Instead of getting to eat a nice burger with a Coke, he was forced to eat the normal slop just like any other prisoner. Wasn’t even treated like it was a special day for him. However, you know that Cheeseburger Eddie’s business skyrocketed after this news.
Also it’s important to think about the fact that they gave him exactly what he wanted. As long as the inmates ate everything that they asked for, it appears as though they could get whatever they wanted for their last meal. A real slippery slope, if you ask me. One minute people are asking for cheeseburgers and fries, and the next minute they’re asking for humans to be able to get married to animals.
It’s almost like now there’s no point in even committing such a heinous crime to be put on death row. The allure of it before was obvious; getting an amazing meal just for one major atrocity. Now that the last meal isn’t an option, you might as well just follow the law. Regardless, Lawrence Russell Brewer will go down as one of the greatest (meal orderers) to ever do it.