RIP In Peace To "Puan", The World's Oldest Sumatran Orangutan

Time – The world’s oldest known Sumatran orangutan died Monday at the Perth Zoo in Australia. She passed away at the “grand old age” of 62, zookeepers said.

Puan, meaning “lady” in Indonesian, left behind an “incredible legacy” of 54 descendants including 11 children and was a celebrated matriarch who helped save her species, according to a statement from Perth Zoo.

“She did so much for the colony at Perth Zoo and the survival of her species,” said primate supervisor at Perth Zoo Holly Thompson. “Apart from being the oldest member of our colony, she was also the founding member of our world-renowned breeding program and leaves an incredible legacy. Her genetics count for just under 10% of the global zoological population.”

Puan’s offspring spans Europe, the United States, Australasia and the jungles of Sumatra. A great grandson named Nyaru was the latest of her descendants to be released into the wild.

I’m moderately upset about this one. RIP to Puan. Puan actually means “Lady” in Indonesian which is ironic because I once dated a beautiful Indonesian girl named Puan when I was in high school. We never met but she used to text me incredibly sexy pictures all the time after she shaved her legs every night.

The cool thing about Puan, formerly known as the oldest orangutan in the world, is she lived a long, happy life providing the eggs and womb for the cultivation of 11 healthy children, ultimately leading to 54 total descendants, all of which were used to help restore the world’s population of Sumatran orangutans. If orangutans ever overcome this bout with natural selection and ultimately evolve to be self aware, thought processing, intelligent beings, orangutans will tell stories of Puan like she’s an orange-haired Eve.

The scientists at the Perth Zoo in Australia claim her lineage makes up around 10% of the world’s Sumatran orangutan population. I don’t care if there’s not a lot of them left in the world, those numbers don’t lie. All I’m saying is Puan should be remembered as a savior, not another punchline in a blog written by some asshole who used to get catfished by Indonesian men as a teenager. Let’s enjoy our Tuesday and think happy thoughts about orangutans singing fun songs accompanied by a horn ensemble.

#RIPPuan