It's Bullshit That Discovery Zone Was Forced To Shut Down 19 Years Ago

Last night, the nicest man in the world tweeted out something that shocked the Internet. That’s right. The true Latvian King. The Snack God himself, Clem, tweeted out he was at a Ground Round:

As Clem said, I can’t believe this place still existed. It got me thinking about all the other restaurants from our youth that are no longer around. Places like Chi-Chi’s, ESPN Zone and things like that. But, then I really got thinking and ended up pissed off. Why would I be pissed off about something like this?

I remembered Discovery Zone, or DZ for the cool kids. Discovery Zone was heaven on Earth when you were younger and for sure better than Chuck E. Cheese’s. It’s absolute bullshit that DZ is no longer a thing and as I approach the age of having a kid and have friends with kids, the fact there won’t be a birthday party there really chaps my ass.

Discovery Zone had it all. The slide into the ball pit. The roller slide that you immediately wanted to go down. The zip line. All the crazy tunnels. All the games which led to getting sweet ass prizes at the end of the trip. It had it all and if you’re in your 30s, you remember DZ like it’s yesterday.

People like to blame millennials for everything, but how can those people not look in the mirror and realize they ruined the greatest birthday party spot on Earth? They are the ones we should be yelling about and now I’m just all huffy again after writing about DZ.

Plus, who could forget this commercial?